Change the Story
Do you recognise that you are displaying unhealthy or abusive behaviour within your relationship?
Domestic Abuse in any form is unacceptable and will result in you being arrested and charged.
A healthy relationship is one with mutual respect, trust and honesty. Where both partners feel equal, each is supportive of the other and both feel comfortable communicating openly about anything.
Controlling if or when your partner goes out, who they socialise with, continually checking up on them and getting angry or taking revenge when they don't do what you want them to do is wrong.
Trying to manage a relationship by controlling your partner and eroding their confidence so that they stay with you is an unhealthy relationship and it's abusive.
Witnessing domestic abuse can also affect children in many ways and they often repeat behaviours seen at home. Long term effects include:
- Mental health problems, such as becoming anxious or depressed. Low mental health can also lead to big impacts on physical health, including self-harm or developing an eating disorder.
- Having a lowered sense of self-worth.
- Using alcohol and other drugs as unhealthy coping mechanisms.
We know that children learn behaviours from their parents or other adults they have contact with. Be a role model for your kids and get help to #ChangeTheStory.
If you are concerned about your own behaviour or that of a friend of family member there is more information on the support available below. There is also help and advice for those experiencing domestic abuse.
Abusive behaviour can be physical, verbal, sexual, psychological, emotional or financial.
It can include:
- threatening your partner
- calling them names
- controlling what they do, where they go and who they speak to
- not allowing them to see their friends and family
- accusing them of cheating
- stalking them by continually checking up on them
- sharing - or threatening to share - intimate images of your partner with their family, friends or work colleagues
- hitting, kicking, punching, or throwing objects at them
- rape, forcing your partner into sexual acts they don’t want to do
- keeping their money from them or demanding their money
Domestic abuse is the general term for this type of behaviour but it doesn’t matter if you are living separately, living together, married or have previously been in a relationship. If you are abusive in person, or online, to someone you are, or have been in a relationship with, the police will take positive action against you which may result in your arrest.
If you behave abusively towards your partner you will potentially lose that person, possibly some of your friends too and you will be arrested and convicted of domestic abuse.
Being convicted of domestic abuse offences can carry a maximum sentence of 14 years in jail.
Clare’s Law, also known as the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS) is a police policy giving people the right to know if their current or ex-partner has any previous history of violence or abuse.
It also allows concerned relatives and friends, the right to ask about someone’s partner. They can ask if they have been abusive in the past.
Furthermore, Clare’s Law gives the police the power to tell people that they may be at risk. This information can be given even if it is not asked for. Where we have information that a person may be at harm of domestic abuse by their partner, we have the power to tell them. If you are convicted of domestic abuse and at a later date we think a future partner could be at risk, we will tell them.
The way you treat your partner now, could have long term consequences. If you recognise that your behaviour is showing signs of becoming abusive, look to change and get support.
The first step is recognising that what you are doing is not healthy for either of you and not right. Abusive behaviour in any form is unacceptable and will result in you being arrested and charged.
Abusive behaviour can develop for a number of reasons but ultimately how you choose to behave is down to you and no one else.
New Era offer support to those wanting to change their behaviour.
Call 0300 373 5772 to speak to someone now.
Watch this video to see what it is like attending a New Era course: