'Don’t choose to abuse' campaign launches today
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'Don’t choose to abuse' - our new campaign - encourages men to recognise if they are displaying unhealthy or abusive behaviour within a relationship.
In a two-minute video - aimed at perpetrators, we share the reaction of friends, family and work colleagues when finding out that someone they know is responsible for domestic abuse. It emphasises that this behaviour will be, and quite rightly should be, called out by others, and is not acceptable.
[Phone dial tone]
Staffordshire Police, what's your emergency?
I need the police immediately. It's my neighbour. I don't know what's going on exactly but he's, he's livid, he's so angry.
I've taken a clip of it on my phone. He's shouting at his partner and I just need the police. I'm scared he's going to hit her.
[Uploading - view counter shows number increasing to 600,000 views]
[The number of likes and comments on the video increase to the thousands]
[Screenshots of comments on the clip and news headlines such as "This is what abuse looks like", "This guy is vile", "Stay clear of this guy", "This is unacceptable", "You definitely should report it to the police", "Abuser in viral video exposed", "Identified: local man in viral abuse video", "Despicable. Bully. Disgusting.", "Throw away the key", "Nasty coward".]
[Text message reads: You're a **** psycho. I'm done. Don't ever speak to me again.]
[Screenshots showing he has been removed from group chats and blocked on social media.]
Mate it's uh, it's me look I don't know whether you've seen this video that's gone out?
I can see that you're online so if you could, if you could call me today I really need to chat.
I called like all the guys no one is kind of getting back to me so I'm just wondering whether...
Pick up the phone and call me it's going to take five minutes I just want to chat to you.
Pick up the phone and talk to me. Why won't you talk to me, I've known you for 10 years you won't talk to me?
I know you will have seen it and uh I just want a chance to explain to you.
[Doorbell rings]
Mum, please.
Look at me, you can't even look at me.
I saw what you did.
I didn't mean to do it, I didn't.
I'm so ashamed.
Don't say that.
I'm so ashamed.
Don't say that, please don't say that to me.
Domestic abuse is not acceptable and this behaviour will be, and quite rightly should be, called out by others.
This behaviour may also constitute a criminal offence resulting in police intervention and arrest.
Don't choose to abuse.
We are also highlighting that if you behave abusively towards your partner you will potentially lose that person, possibly some of your friends too and you will be arrested and convicted of domestic abuse.
The video will be shared through social media and sent to local businesses, universities, colleges, sports clubs and community groups across the county, to hopefully reach as many people as possible.
We want to encourage conversations about healthy relationships and abusive behaviour, which can be physical, verbal, sexual, psychological or financial.
Abusive behaviour can develop for a number of reasons but ultimately how you choose to behave is down to you and no one else.
Detective Superintendent Victoria Downing, co-ordinating the force response to violence against women and girls, said: “We are committed to tackling violence, abuse and intimidation of women and girls (VAIWG) and we take this very seriously.
“Significant work is underway to prevent, protect and bring justice for those affected by domestic abuse, stalking and harassment, rape, and serious sexual offending.
“We are committed to targeting the perpetrators of these crimes and holding them to account for their actions. We also recognise that in order to prevent these happening in the first-place, work needs to be done to root out toxic misogyny and abuse in society by changing behaviours, taking responsibility and promoting equality and respect.”
We are also raising awareness that there is help and support available for those who recognise that they are displaying unhealthy and abusive behaviour within their relationship and are willing to change.
Victoria added: “We want to make it clear that we will relentlessly pursue those that are violent and abusive. With the help of our partners across the criminal justice system we are committed to delivering the toughest enforcement available to those found guilty of violence against women and girls.
“Although this campaign is aimed at perpetrators, we want to reiterate that protecting and supporting victims is a priority for us, and we recognise that men and boys can also be victims of violence too.
“We are committed to preventing violence in all its forms across Staffordshire. This is a cultural issue, deep rooted and embedded in society and requires long lasting attitudinal and behavioural change. Everyone has a role to play.”
Staffordshire Commissioner for Police, Fire & Rescue and Crime Ben Adams said: “Protecting people from harm is an absolute priority for me, and much of my Office’s commissioned and partnership activity focuses on preventing people from becoming victims or perpetrators of crime.
“This important campaign shines the spotlight on violence against women and girls, and the unacceptable behaviours that can leave them feeling distressed, anxious and unsafe in their own homes.
“If you’re worried that your behaviour in a relationship is unhealthy or abusive, and want support to change it, help is available. If you’re worried about someone else’s behaviour, speak out.”
On Thursday 30 March, an online chat will take place between 12pm and 2pm, offering a safe place for questions to be asked and support shared on the topic of VAIWG and in particular violence in the home. Questions or comments can be left in advance, or submitted live on the day, by visiting: VAWG/DA online chat (sli.do)
More information about the campaign and details of the help and support available can be found here: Don’t choose to abuse | Staffordshire Police
