Staffordshire Police

Staffordshire Police defines domestic violence as ‘any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality’. This includes so-called 'honour killings' or ‘honour crimes’.

Domestic violence is very common. National research indicates it may affect one in four women at some time in their lives, regardless of age, social class, race, disability or lifestyle. Domestic violence can happen in lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender relationships, and may involve other family members, including children.

Due to the more limited research into male victims, it is not clear how many men suffer in this way. However, the 2001/02 British Crime Survey found 19 per cent of domestic violence incidents were reported to be male victims. Just under half of these said the abuse was done by a woman.

Whether the domestic violence is psychological, financial, emotional or physical, it comes from the abuser exerting power and control over family members or partners. Though every situation is different, there are common factors, and recognising these are an important step in preventing and stopping the abuse.

For example:

• destructive criticism and verbal abuse such as shouting, mocking, accusing, name-calling and threatening putting you under continual pressure.

For example:

• threatening to withhold money
• disconnecting the phone
• taking the car away
• threatening to commit suicide
• taking the children away
• reporting you to welfare agencies unless you agree with their demands about bringing up the children
• lying about you to your friends and family
• telling you that you have no choice in any decisions
• always putting you down in front of other people, ignoring you when you talk, interrupting phone calls, taking money from your purse without asking or refusing to help with childcare or housework
• lying to you or not letting you know about things, jealousy, infidelity and breaking promises
• keeping you from friends or relatives – through monitoring or blocking your phone calls, saying where you can and can’t go or stopping you visiting them
• harassment – this might include following you, checking up on you, opening your post, repeatedly checking to see who has called you and embarrassing you in public
• threatening with angry gestures, using size to intimidate, shouting you down, wrecking belongings, breaking things, punching walls, waving a knife or gun at you or threatening to kill/harm you and the children
• sexual violence - using force, threats or intimidation to make you carry out sexual acts, rape or any degrading treatment based on your sexual orientation
• physical violence – punching, slapping, hitting, biting, pinching, kicking, pulling out hair, pushing, burning or strangling.
• denying abuse happens, blaming the victim for the abuse, being gentle in public but not in the home, crying and begging for forgiveness and saying it will never happen again. It will.

Repeat victimisation is common, with nearly half (44 per cent) of victims suffering more than one incident. British Crime Survey research also found women are most often sexually assaulted by men they know.