Domestic abuse
Male victims
Men experience domestic violence at the hands of female and male partners, but they often feel that they are the only one it has ever happened to. Although women are more likely to be the victims, large numbers of men will also experience domestic violence.
It may be hard for men to admit to themselves or others that they are experiencing abuse – but it is the perpetrator who is at fault, not the victim, and there is help available.
There are some differences between the way men and women experience domestic violence, but there are things in common as well. Being hurt by someone you love and trust is devastating, whether you are a man or woman.
Male victims often feel bewildered and confused and wonder if it's their fault. They may be too ashamed or embarrassed to tell anyone, fearing they will not be believed or will have their abuse treated as a joke or not believed. Asking for help is the right thing to do, it is not a sign of weakness. Sometimes when people reach out for help, they may not find the best person to help them first time. It is important to keep looking – there will be someone who can help.
Many male victims feel they can’t be ‘real men’ if they are attacked by a woman – that is simply not true. The abuser is the person who is at fault and they choose to act in this way. Men have the same rights as women to be safe in their own homes.
All statutory bodies (police, Crown Prosecution Service, housing and social services) have the same duty of care to men and women. The same laws protect men and women – if someone is assaulted then the perpetrator can be prosecuted regardless of the gender of either. A man experiencing domestic violence and needing emergency help should call police on 999.
Many men fear that they could lose contact with their children if they leave their abusive partner. Family courts deal with child contact disputes on a case-by-case basis. Evidence of domestic violence will be taken into account when deciding where the children live and the contact they have with both parents.
